Kindness Won't Get You Anywhere
by Meimi no Kage
Summary: In the wake of 'A Haunting Revelation', Ken is starting to suffer from mysterious nightmares as he draws closer to Takeru. [shonen ai, Completion Date: 07.2001]
1. Part 1: Morning Mist

**Kindness Won't Get You Anywhere  
Part 1 - Morning Mist**

* * *

Standard disclaimers apply. 

SPOILER WARNING: Spoilers for 02 (that's season 2 for the uninitiated) up to and including the episodes involving the first appearance of the Crest of Kindness. 

SHONEN AI WARNING: This is a shonen ai fic and contains within it romantic themes and hints of an intimate relationship between two male characters. If this disturbs you in any way PLEASE do not continue reading. And yes, I am sick and twisted, thanks for asking. 

What Has Gone Before: Okay, I'm tired of coming up with a crappy summary for this. Just go read the other fics to know what's going on, please? Thank you and enjoy! 

* * *

He awoke to the sound of waves lapping upon a beach. A truly alien sound for his bedroom, but one that sounded far too familiar for his peace of mind. It was a soft, lulling sound. One could almost classify it as a _dead_ sound. It made his skin crawl and his ears scream at him at the terrible silence of it all. But most of all, it made him cold inside, so terribly cold. It was a brittle chill that seemed to spread down from his neck and encased his chest in ice so cold it burned. 

For the fifth time in his life, Ichijouji Ken was completely and utterly terrified, and he wasn't exactly sure why. It ran in his veins, freezing his blood even more to the point where he couldn't even move. Time seemed to slow as the sound of the waves grew louder and louder. He could almost feel a nigh nonexistent wind as it brushed against his skin, feeling like dead leaves and smelling of ocean salt. 

And then, the sound was gone as if it had never been, leaving him trembling from dark, terrible visions that he couldn't quite remember and yet haunted him still. Sighing at last, when the feeling had dwindled into a tiny ache, Ken slowly rolled over, curling up against himself beneath the covers. Wonderful, now he was having nightmares on top of nightmares. Would it ever end? 

He lay like this for awhile, deliberately attempting to blank his mind out so that he wouldn't be able to _think_ about anything. Of course, he didn't succeed, but don't they always say that it's the thought that counts? He was tired, always, always tired. Nothing seemed to change that anymore, nothing at all. 

The nightmares didn't exactly help either. Oh, he could stomach the ones where he, as the Kaiser, ended up killing a innumerable amount of digimon, or the ones where he tortured and killed the other Chosen Children, even the horrible ones where it was his hand on the wheel of the car that ran Osamu down or even the ones of him slaughtering Wormmon. Those, he had no doubt that he more than richly deserved. Even more disturbing were the ones that replaced his brother with Takeru, those always left him a shuddering wreck. Certainly he had more than enough darkness within for his subconscious to produce such masterpieces of horror. But where exactly was this new one coming from? 

He had never been frightened of the ocean. He had never had a bad experience at a beach, not that he could remember. Granted, there were holes in his memories of the past, places in his mind where he had no idea what had happened or what he had been doing, an unsettling fact he had had to live with for quite a while now. Most of these holes were before he became the Kaiser, so he attributed it to the aftereffects of the battle with Millenniumon and even that memory was sketchy at best. So there was the possibility that it was a buried fear, but it was certainly farfetched. If it was something that had been buried in his psyche for so long, why did it decide to start coming out _now_ of all times? It just didn't make sense. 

Shaking his head at the answers he could not find, Ken slowly sat up, stretched the kinks out of his back and climbed down off his bed. He could barely make out the sounds of his mother going about her business in the kitchen. He was up early, but not by much so she shouldn't be all that worried about it. Not long ago, the first thing he would do in the morning would be to turn his computer on and check out the data that had been gathered overnight in the Digital World. Nowadays, he didn't even deign to look at it. He had little use for it now. 

Instead, he picked up a black, fine-toothed comb from the desk and began to yank out the knots in his hair as he turned to watch his progress in the mirror. Tossing and turning all night tended to produce a great deal of tangles, and since that happened more often than naught he ended up spending a great deal of his time in the morning taking care of his poor abused hair. As for his poor abused psyche, well there really wasn't anything to be done about it other than to just leave it be. 

Finishing up his task a few minutes later, Ken laid the comb back down on the desk and walked over towards the closet. He quickly dragged out a clean uniform, gray, dull and drab. It really did match his school life remarkably well though. Smirking humorlessly, he thought about that particular subject as he dressed himself. School had always been gray, dull and drab. Even when he was a child he had never had any school friends. Really, who would have wanted to bother with the poor neglected baby brother of the amazing prodigy? Oh certainly, there had been sympathy after Osamu had been killed but nothing interesting until he started showing signs of taking after his dearly departed brother. By then, of course, he really hadn't wanted anything to do with the people who just wanted to be friends with the new genius. Maybe he should have been more... willing to give it a try? But at the time he had had more important things to consider than mindless groupies, and now it really didn't matter. 

Perhaps he was fated to only have one friend in life at a time. It certainly seemed that way now didn't it? Surveying his image in the mirror, checking for anything out of place, he muttered, "Getting sentimental now are we Ichijouji?" Shaking a finger at his reflection, he quirked his lips up into a false smile, "Better watch it, if you keep it up Takeru might get worried about you." 

Hmm, Takeru was probably up already. Cocking his head slightly, Ken turned and gazed at his computer appraisingly. Maybe he did have a use for it now after all. Giving that particular thought a half smile, Ken pushed the power button on and waited patiently for the system to boot up. It took several minutes, several minutes that grated on his nerves. He was going to have to reconfigure the start up menu. There really were too many digital programs on there that he just didn't have any need for now. Ah well, perhaps another time. 

Ignoring the many alerts and warnings the system was chiming at him about the non-working black spires, Ken instead activated the monitoring system he had developed for the other children's communication network. Honestly, was it any wonder he always knew what they were doing? Smiling pleasantly at the thought, Ken typed up a short message and sent it off to Takeru's terminal. Now to see how long it would take for a response. 

Takeru, having just recently gotten out of the shower, was busy toweling his hair dry when his D terminal started blinking at him. Now who would be sending him a message this early in the morning? Picking the device up, he flopped down on his bed beside a still snoozing Patamon and flipped it open. Patamon grumbled sleepily at him, curled up tighter into a ball and settled back into dream land. No way was Patamon getting up yet unless there was food, and since breakfast wasn't ready yet the little digimon had no intention of moving. 

Takeru smiled gently down at his partner before keying up the incoming message. It was from... Ken? He didn't know Ken could access their terminals, though it would stand to reason. Ken was a genius after all and Takeru was more than certain the raven-haired boy could figure out how to do anything with the proper incentive. Grinning as something occurred to him, Takeru typed up a reply and sent it off. 

Ken was busy moving a few program files around when the reply came in. Oh, he wasn't fool enough to delete them and have done with it. Just because he wasn't the Kaiser anymore, nor would he ever be, didn't mean that the Kaiser's programs didn't have their uses. It was better to have unused resources than nothing at all. 

He raised an eyebrow in curiosity as he read over the message. Takeru wanted him to come to Odaiba after school so they could go somewhere together. An appealing thought, and certainly nice company to waste the afternoon away with. He could do that. It wouldn't be hard at all to convince his mother to let him go for a visit. That decided, he sent off a confirmation and asked what Takeru had in mind. What exactly did Takeru want to do? 

Takeru looked up from where he was getting his backpack in order when the D terminal's light flashed again at an incoming message. That was fast. He quickly read over the message, a delighted smile dawning across his face as he did so. Thinking for a moment, his smile turned into one of mischief as he typed out another reply and sent it off. 

Just finished with cleaning up one of the major directory structures, Ken keyed up the new reply and blinked curiously. A surprise? Takeru wanted it to be a surprise? He wasn't all that big on surprises, but he didn't hate them either. So... why not play along? Still, Takeru deserved a little jab for it. Smiling in good humor, Ken sent off another reply. 

"I'm a tease? I am not," Takeru scrunched his nose up at Ken's most recent message. He frowned thoughtfully and looked over at Patamon, who was finally starting to wake up. "Am I?" 

"I smell food," Patamon piped up cheerfully, seemingly ignoring Takeru's question completely. Stretching his wings, he flapped over towards the door, which was still closed, and glared back at his human partner. "And yes, you're a tease. I'm smelling food, but the door is still closed. You're teasing me with the aroma of food." Patamon's eyes got big and teary as he put on his most pitiful expression, "Open the door, Takeru! Please?" 

"Oh fine, you suck up." Takeru stalked over towards the door, opening it with a flourish. "And I am not a tease," he called out after the little digimon as Patamon flapped off towards the dining room. 

He pouted slightly as "Whatever you say, Takeru." floated back down the hallway. He wasn't a tease. No, certainly not... well maybe. Just a little bit though, nothing serious. Still debating the issue in his mind, Takeru sent a final message off to Ken before heading out after his partner. Time for breakfast. 

Ken chuckled lightly at Takeru's somewhat indignant response to his ribbing. The blonde was as much fun to tease as he was a tease. Hmm, Takeru wanted to meet up at the Fune no Kagakukan train station. So, at least he wouldn't have to go far into Odaiba and risk running into the other children... alone. That was good, it was best to avoid conflict with them where ever possible. Well, now he had something to look forward to after school. That was nice. Ken shut his computer down as he rose from the desk chair. But where could Takeru possibly want to take him to? Interesting little mystery to ponder upon for the day. 

Turning away from his desk, Ken shivered slightly as a cold draft seemed to emanate from nowhere in particular. Odd, his mother certainly wouldn't have turned the air-conditioner on this late in the fall and the balcony door was shut tight. Perhaps he was now being haunted, though frankly it would be hard to figure out just what might be haunting him since there were so many things that _could_ be haunting him. Ken smirked at his own morbid humor as he turned to gaze down at the ever present picture of his brother on the desk. 

Leaning down, Ken tapped the glass covering the photo and murmured solemnly, "To give up the ghost or... or what? Hmm, interesting thought that." Straightening up, he cocked his head thoughtfully as he continued to stare down at the picture. "We are not the same. Asking what you would do would be an exercise in futility." Whirling around, he cast the photo one last negligent glance and shrugged at himself. "Good day, big brother." 

Perhaps from a lone air current or perhaps more, after Ken's back was turned the glass in the picture frame fogged up where his fingertips had touched it. Ken took no notice of it as he quickly walked out of the room to go join his parents for breakfast. 

"Good morning dear," his mother smiled at him hesitantly as Ken walked into the dining room. She was always hesitant and cautious around him now. He had never told her or his father anything about the time he had been gone, or what he had been doing during it, and he supposed it just made their concern even worse. It wasn't as if he could tell them about it even if he wanted to either. Oh yes, that would go over well. 'Mother, Father, I was away in another world sporting dear Osamu's hairdo and having great fun kicking around and terrorizing the inhabitants of said world.' They'd be taking him to doctors to 'help him' before he could even blink. Oh certainly, he probably needed 'help' but not in that particular regard. Besides, he deserved all the suffering his psyche decided to visit upon him. 

"Good morning, mother," he finally replied, giving her a warm, reassuring smile as he sat down at the table. Oh, it wasn't a real smile, but it wasn't exactly a fake one either. Takeru's little mystery had piqued his interest, but it was so hard to be happy about anything for long. Ah well, as long as he hid behind the mask of contentment there shouldn't be too much to worry about. 

Ken's father joined them soon after his mother finished setting the table for breakfast. The man eyed him warily in speculation before venturing, "Morning, son. Did you sleep well?" 

Ken sighed silently to himself, his father was somewhat scared of talking to him anymore. Did they really think he'd leave again if they upset him inadvertently? Like he had anywhere else to go now. "Perfectly fine, father." A little white lie never hurt anyone. 

They ate their breakfast for several minutes in silence. It was to be expected. They had come to the realization that they just didn't know how to talk to him and he just didn't really care to discuss anything with them. It was tense, but there really wasn't anything to be done about it. It was just how things were now. After a few moments thinking about how to inform them of his plans for later that day, Ken finally decided to just play it by ear. "Takeru invited me to go somewhere with him this afternoon." 

His father recovered first from the surprise at the news of him going anywhere with a friend. They were still a bit unaccustomed to him having anything resembling a friend and, of course, they knew nothing about his real relationship with Takeru. "Takeru? In Odaiba?" A slight frown of consternation crossed his father's face as Ken nodded in reply. "That's a bit far. You'll have to take the train-" 

"That's wonderful dear," his mother cut his father's reluctant mumbles off instantly with her good cheer. A look Ken couldn't quite read passed between his parents before his mother returned her attention back to him and asked, "Where will you be going?" 

"I don't know," Ken cocked his head curiously as he watched them with a calculating gaze. Sometimes he had to wonder about his mother's exuberance for Takeru and his 'friendship'. "He wanted it to be a surprise." 

"Oh, that sounds like it'll be fun," his mother's grin of abject joy practically beamed as she leaned over and patted him gently on the shoulder. "Why don't you ask Takeru to spend the night tomorrow? He hasn't been over all that much lately." 

Now there was an appealing idea, and his mother even suggested it no less. Really, what better setup could he have ever asked for? Smiling as the interesting possibilities began popping up in his mind at the suggestion, Ken muttered, "We'll see, mother. We'll see." 

* * *

****

It was overcast in Odaiba when Ken stepped off the train at the Fune no Kagakukan Station. It hadn't looked like it was going to rain during the ride over though, so that wasn't much of a worry. He let the press of people push him further into the station as he looked around for the telltale sign of golden hair tucked under a rather silly looking hat. It didn't take Ken long to spot Takeru further off to the side and the blonde hadn't seen him yet. Smiling whimsically to himself, Ken effortlessly made his way through the crowd around and behind his friend. This should prove to be mildly amusing. 

Takeru frowned slightly as he looked around at all the people coming off the train from the JR Shimbashi Station. He couldn't see Ken anywhere, though there were still a few stragglers hurrying off the train so... Takeru froze in midthought as he felt slim fingers walking up his spine and towards his neck. Whirling around, he came face to face with a rather amused looking Ken. "Sneak," he grumbled, before warming up to the fact that Ken seemed happy to see him if the teasing was any indication. That was a pleasant thought. 

Ken tilted his head to the side and grinned impishly. "But you make it so easy. How can I resist?" He chuckled quietly as Takeru grumbled back at him for that and started to lead them over towards the station exits. "So where exactly are we going?" he asked, his curiosity for Takeru's little mystery 'date' getting the best of him finally. 

"Well, mom just recently finished a story on the Maritime Museum," Takeru started off as they walked out of the station. Smiling cheerfully at the fresh air, he led Ken off towards the bay. "And she managed to get a couple of tickets that included tours of the Soya Antarctica observation ship and Yotei Maru ferry. I thought that it might be an interesting trip," he trailed off into silence and looked hopefully over at Ken. 

"That sounds fine," Ken murmured lightly. He didn't really care about the destination actually, he just liked being around Takeru anymore. Hmm, yet another one of those things he really should think more about one of these days. "No rush though!" he burst out a minute later as Takeru grimaced, grabbed his arm and picked up the pace a bit. He was about to dig his heels in when he noticed a rather familiar looking girl on the opposite side of the street. Oh, that explained it then. He sighed and allowed himself to be dragged along for another block. He didn't particularly want to run into Hikari today and highly doubted Takeru wanted to either. 

It wasn't until the museum came into view that Takeru finally slowed their progress. Hikari might seem okay with things now, but he really didn't want to push their luck. Besides, he wanted today to be as enjoyable as possible, if at all possible. He smiled when Ken cracked a grin of amusement at the museum's exterior. The main building was shaped like a giant ocean liner and did look kinda silly all things considered. Still, it was a rather nice museum and offered some interesting exhibits. 

"So your mother did an article for a newspaper on the museum?" Ken asked conversationally after Takeru handed over the passes and they were allowed inside. Typically like most other public buildings, the staff still had the air-conditioning on so it was slightly chilly inside, not too much though. 

"For a magazine," Takeru corrected as they followed the path towards where the ships were moored. "It was a commission of sorts for a travel magazine. She enjoyed it, the staff here is pretty nice and were more than willing to give out whatever information mom might have needed." 

Ken chuckled at Takeru's explanation as they walked up onto the deck of the Yotei Maru ferry, "I think that's part of the job description though." 

"Ah, you're probably right," Takeru admitted as he looked out over the bay from the main pavilion. Rainbow Bridge arched high over the water not far in the distance, even in the daytime it was a rather spectacular view. 

Ken's smile faded as he stared out over the calm water of Tokyo Bay. Without the sun shining down on it, the bay water was dull and dark to the eye. It reminded him somewhat of that mystifying nightmare he had had that morning. What was so frightening about the sound of water washing up on a beach? It just didn't make sense. No matter how much he tossed the subject around in his mind he just couldn't figure out why that nightmare had been such a horrifying experience. It was just too strange. 

"Ken?" Takeru asked hesitantly after spending a few moments watching his friend in growing concern. Ken seemed to be thinking about something, something that looked to be distressing. When the raven-haired boy didn't respond to his question, Takeru reached up and rubbed Ken's shoulder. "Hey, are you okay?" 

"Hmm?" Ken looked over at Takeru dazedly for a second before mentally smacking himself for getting so caught up in his thoughts. He could handle this. He _could_, and he really didn't want Takeru worrying about him for something this silly. "It's nothing really," he hedged and smiled. Hopefully, Takeru would get the hint. 

"Oh," Takeru frowned. He didn't believe that one little bit, but he really didn't know how to get Ken to open up about 'things'. "Well, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?" he offered, hoping that someday Ken might take him up on it. There wasn't any harm in trying after all. 

Ken closed his eyes at that. Why did he always feel like crying whenever Takeru asked him that? Oh how he wanted to, but no, he shouldn't, couldn't, impose on Takeru like that. No one deserved his demons but himself. "I know. It really isn't anything important though." 

"All right, but the offer still stands if you ever want to," Takeru shrugged as he trailed off. He didn't know what else to say now. "I'm not exactly going anywhere." 

"I know. I know." Ken smirked, hooking his arm in Takeru's and tugging the blonde back towards the 'tour' route. "But I do believe that you were taking me on a tour of a rather silly looking museum now weren't you?" 

Takeru laughed, "Yeah, I guess so." Oh, he knew the ploy for what it was, but if it was what Ken wanted he could play along. "We should get to it then." 

* * *

****

Dusk was settling over the city when they finally returned to the train station. They had both had a bit too much fun with the radio powered boats in the pond at the museum. Eventually their antics had started up a bumper boat fight with the kids, and a few adults, who had been playing around with the boats as well. When they had been run out at closing time, Ken had still been chuckling about the whole thing. Takeru liked that, he liked hearing Ken laugh a great deal. 

Takeru fidgeted slightly under the brilliant electric lights in the station. There were many things he would have liked to have done with Ken, but being in public put a damper on them. It made for a good bit of frustration when he kept getting the urge to touch or hug or even kiss his raven-haired friend. Still, it had turned out to be a good afternoon, even with those few mysterious minutes of silence on the old ferry. 

Ken watched Takeru out of the corner of his eye and frowned ever so slightly. The blonde seemed a bit out of sorts and he couldn't figure out just why. It was odd, when he was the Kaiser he could have sworn he could read any of the other children like an open book, and yet now he had to guess and he was never sure about whether those guesses were correct or not. It was quite confusing. But there was one thing he was forgetting. 

Takeru froze as he felt slender fingers brush against his own, squeezing them lightly before drawing away again. He smiled over at Ken, the brief gesture warming him inside despite the simplicity of it. He blinked curiously at the mischievous glint sparkling in Ken's amethyst eyes. 

"Mother," Ken held a finger up as he started off in obvious good cheer, "suggested that I should ask you to spend the night tomorrow night." Shaking his extended finger and winking suggestively, he impishly added, "I know I would certainly appreciate it, in more ways than one." 

Takeru felt his cheeks heat up in what must be a rosy blush at the obvious undercurrent in Ken's words. He would certainly appreciate what Ken was hinting at himself. He was feeling a bit antsy of late. Clearing his throat, he chuckled, "I'm sure mom wouldn't mind me spending the night. I'll give you a call later to confirm it." 

"Good good, and here's my train." Ken gave Takeru a brief squeeze on the shoulder before turning away. "I'll see you tomorrow then," he threw back before walking off to board the train headed across Rainbow Bridge. 

Takeru watched Ken go, a soft smile twisting his lips upwards. He really did like being around Ken and he was really, really glad Ken seemed to like being around him too. And maybe there was more to what he was feeling than he thought. It was something he thought more and more about of late, about there being more to it than just what was obvious. 

* * *

****

Ken sighed wearily as he got ready for bed. His mother had pounced on him the instant he had gotten back from the 'date'. She had been terribly exuberant about it, asking questions about whether he had enjoyed himself and so on. Thankfully, a few veiled, happy-seeming answers had kept her from pressuring him too much about it. It was a bit tiresome though. He didn't mind it all that much, but there was a point where it started to get on his nerves. 

Takeru had called shortly after he had managed to calm his mother down a bit to confirm their plans for tomorrow night. He was more than looking forward to it, though certainly not in the way his mother thought. It had been quite awhile since he had had his way with Takeru, now he could make up for lost time. What a pleasant thought. 

He gave little thought to the nightmare he had had the previous night as he climbed up the ladder and into bed. It had been just another nightmare amidst a multitude of others, even if it had been a bit odd. It was just a nightmare though, nothing to ponder upon for too long, especially when he had far more interesting things _to_ think about. 

Ken always expected nightmares when he lay down to sleep, it was due course. He could either suffer through the nightmares he knew he more than richly deserved or he could develop a nice bout of insomnia. Since he didn't very much like the idea of looking like the living dead during the day, Ken opted out for the nightmares. 

Even with the usual nightmares though, Ken was a bit surprised to open his eyes up on an expanse of foggy, gray beach a mere instant after he had closed them to the view of his pitch-black bedroom. This obviously had something to do with the nightmare from the other night, and yet, Ken still had no clue as to where in particular it was coming from. He had no memory of a beach like this. 

The blackish-gray surf washed up onto the gray shoreline just a few inches from his feet. It was too quiet, even for a calm sea it was too quiet here. There was no wind here, nothing at all to disturb the whitish-gray fog that shrouded the rest of the beach from view. Ken could make out cliffs rising up a good ways back from the edge of the water, but he couldn't make out how high up they went. It was just too strange. 

Ken blanched when he finally looked down at himself and noticed that he too was as gray as his surroundings. He was wearing his school uniform, which he hadn't been wearing when he went to bed. So that at least confirmed that this had to be a nightmare, even if it felt all too real to him. 

The sound of sand crunching beneath careful footsteps drifted across the dead beach, coming towards him. Ken froze as they came closer and closer becoming louder and louder until his ears ached from the sound of them. Then they stopped and he had the unexplainable urge to run, to flee from this terrible place before he was forced to acknowledge it, before he had to face whatever it was that was out there in the fog. 

"Strange to see a human here," a female voice spoke at last from behind the fog. It was a pleasant voice, one that hinted at the pleasurable sins that one could partake of life. It made the darkness within himself sit up and take notice while the rest of him cringed away in knowing horror. This was not the kind of voice he wanted to come across when he was alone and most especially not here and not now in this place that was too dead to be real. 

A moment passed in the horrible, echoing silence before an unnaturally large clawed hand reached out from within the fog to rake it away. And now Ken really was frightened as the fallen angel digimon came into view. She smiled at him as a cat would to a crippled mouse it had come across by chance, one that she more than intended to play with before the kill. 

"How is it that you came to be here little human?" Lady Devimon purred as she stepped closer. 

* * *

::heh-heh:: The Devimons are my favorite pair of digimon period. Why? Because they have the most incredibly sexy Japanese voices, even if Shiozawa Kaneto is no longer with us. ;; 

And yes, the Maritime Museum in Odaiba is shaped like a giant ocean liner. The first time I saw a picture of it, I giggled my head off. The two ships mentioned in the fic are moored there as attractions and the pond with the radio controlled boat actually exists. The hands on parts of museums are so time consuming in the fact that they are unbelievable fun. Take this from someone who stayed at the Fernbank Museum of Natural History in Atlanta playing with the bubbles with her friends until closing time.


	2. Part 2: Evening Twilight

**Kindness Won't Get You Anywhere  
Part 2 - Evening Twilight**

* * *

Standard disclaimers apply. 

SHONEN AI WARNING: This is a shonen ai fic and contains within it romantic themes and hints of an intimate relationship between two male characters. If this disturbs you in any way PLEASE do not continue reading. And yes, I am sick and twisted, thanks for asking. 

* * *

Ken took an involuntary step back as the fallen angel drew closer. She laughed at him as he did so. It was a low, sultry chuckle that made his skin crawl from the sheer terror that was curling its way up his spine in response. Part of him wished very much that Wormmon was with him right now for moral support if nothing else. And in doing so, Ken again realized the breadth of his many, many mistakes. Wormmon was dead. Deleted because of his own damnable arrogance. He was alone. He would always be alone and nothing would ever or could ever change that. He deserved anything and everything he got, whether it was a nightmare or not. Sighing despondently at his own foolishness, Ken looked over at the gray-black water that was washing up to shore and whispered, "I don't know." 

"Really? Now that is interesting," Lady Devimon murmured, her curiosity mounting as she watched the boy's shoulders slump in pure dejection. Truly, this was the first time she had seen a human up close. Asides from the usual nuisance, they had never interested her before. Still, this little human was pretty much the only thing she had run across on this cursed beach in a very, very long time. This human might be the only surcease that would ever come. That was quite a distressing thought. 

"Nothing comes here that doesn't belong," she stated simply as she reached towards the boy with her left hand. An indulgent grin crossed her lips when he visibly flinched away from her extended claws. A simple act of will caused them to shrink down to a normal size. She waved the now smaller appendages at him tauntingly. "You do know where you are, don't you little boy?" 

"No. I don't," Ken replied flatly as he looked back at her with a steely gaze. She was toying with him, obviously. He had expected it, but that didn't mean he had to appreciate it. If the virus wished to kill him, do it and be done with it. He had no patience for cruelty. He was far too familiar with it and its effects. 

"Impossible," Lady Devimon frowned. While his defiance amused her, what he was saying confused her. "Improbable. You cannot come here without wanting to be here. You cannot want to be here if you do not know where here is." Scowling, she quickly reached up and poked him in the forehead, "Somewhere up there you must know where you are." 

Ken shook his head as he looked back at the water again. This did not make sense. What she was saying did not make sense. Then again, the idea of a perfect virus digimon striking up a conversation with him instead of just ripping him to pieces didn't make much sense either. "What is this place?" he asked after a moment's hesitation. 

"The beach of lost souls," she answered as she also turned to gaze out over the silent sea. "This is where the dead souls come when they are weary of life." Waving her arm expansively at the black ocean, she continued, "Somewhere out there, the true essence of Darkness slumbers beneath the waves. That is what draws them here." 

Dead souls? Interesting choice of words. Did that mean people who were truly dead or those who were just going about the motions of life because they didn't know anything else? "Why are you here?" Ken asked, not really thinking about _who_ he directed the question at. 

She looked back at him, blinking in surprise. This little human was rather impertinent. Was he truly that foolish or just so lost that his actions didn't really register? Hmm, should she answer or not? It wouldn't do any harm, though it certainly wouldn't improve anything either. Some of the truth then. "My lord went off in search of Darkness and the power inherent to it. He bid me wait here and here I will remain until his return." 

How strange, a virus loyal to her master, or at least that's what it sounded like. Ken briefly wondered who her master might be, but he couldn't hold on to the thought for very long. It was like a part of him didn't want to do anything at all. The sound of the waves lapping onto the shore was calming, though definitely not soothing. It was too dead of a sound to ever soothe the fears that lurked just beneath the surface of his mind. Why was he here? Was he dead inside too? No answers were forthcoming in his thoughts. It just didn't make sense. 

"Ken" 

He looked around curiously. Had someone called his name? It couldn't have been the virus beside him, he hadn't given her his name. Who? 

"Ken." 

Turning around, he looked back up at the cliffs searching for something, anything to make sense of what he was hearing. Who was that calling his name? The voice... sounded almost familiar. 

"Ken! Wake up!" 

He took a step back towards the ocean, his eyes widening in something bordering both fear and disbelief. Oh yes, he recognized that haunting voice, though he hadn't heard it in a very long time. The speaker had been dead for several years. There was no way he could be hearing _his_ voice now. Osamu was dead, long dead. 

"Wake up! I can't help you there!" 

This wasn't real, it couldn't be real. This was all a nightmare. It had to be, everything was just a nightmare. Wasn't it? All thoughts of the fallen angel who stood beside him vanished in the fear that was bubbling up within, Ken closed his eyes on the beach... and opened them again to darkness, utter darkness. Shooting up in bed, a scream of terror freezing in his throat, he shuddered as reality started registering in his mind. He was in his bed. It was nighttime. He had just had a nightmare. It was just a nightmare. He was fine. He was alone... and he was crying. 

For this once, he didn't care. It had been too much, he shouldn't be hearing his brother's voice as clear as if Osamu had been standing over him shaking him awake. It shouldn't be like that. Collapsing back onto his bed, Ken buried his face in the covers and let the tears come. It should _not_ be like that. 

Lady Devimon had watched as the boy had faded from view. It seemed that the little human had a guardian angel looking out for him. Ah well, it wouldn't matter very much in the long run. Anything and everything that came here always came back in the end. It was as inevitable as the sea washing up to the shore. Shrugging at the thought, she stood her lone sentinel upon the beach, staring out at the unending ocean. She would wait for her master to return, and perhaps the little human would return soon to break the monotony of her long vigil. That would be nice. 

* * *

****

Eventually, Ken had somehow managed to drift back off to sleep. He had had no more nightmares during the night, he knew this instantly when he awoke in the morning. Sitting up, he made a soft disgusted sound as he wiped the dried crust left by the tears out of his eyes. Crying in the middle of the night and then going back to sleep afterwards did not make for a pleasant morning. No no, definitely not. 

Flopping back down onto his bed, he sighed wearily and tilted his head to the side, looking down at the digital clock on his desk. He had to get up soon for school. He didn't want to though. Briefly, he toyed with the idea of tricking his mother into letting him stay home for the day. But no, she would hover over him for the entire day, driving him insane from her smothering, and wouldn't let Takeru spend the night. That just would not do, he already had plans on what he wanted to do to the blonde later on, and hell if he was going to put them off just so he could be miserable at home instead of miserable at school. 

Grumbling his frustration at his own screwed up life, Ken hauled himself up out of bed and down the ladder. He gave little thought to the horrible nightmare of before. Perhaps he should have, but he had other things on his mind now. He went through the motions of getting ready for school: combing his hair, putting his clothes on and joining his parents for breakfast. His thoughts were elsewhere though, focused on a far more pleasant avenue of thought. He vaguely noted a stray breeze of chill air as he got his books together for school, but brushed it off as just another strange quirk of the weather. 

School was uneventfully dull. Ken barely paid attention to it. Really, when had been the last time that he had _needed_ to pay attention? So what if he was a little arrogant about it, he didn't even have to try to get through it. That certainly engendered a little arrogance every now and then. Just because he took it a bit further than he should have didn't necessarily mean it was a bad thing... Did it? What a quandary everything had turned out to be. Not too long ago he wouldn't have even considered his arrogance to be anything more than his right for being superior to the others. Now, he second-guessed anything and everything he did. Was it any surprise he was depressed? 

Maybe he would go insane, that would be something to look forward to. Then again, his brief bout of insanity during the entire Chimeramon fiasco had been extremely unpleasant and the aftereffects had been horrid. No, never to go _there_ again would be a good thing. So that left him with just being normal, or as normal as he could be. At least he had Takeru, for now. 

The day was long, but eventually school thankfully came to an end. It would take awhile for Takeru to get his things together and get to the train, much less get on the train, but still Ken headed off towards the train station. He could wait. He was patient. The walk was pleasant, the weather was a bit on the cool side but not too bad. There was a strange recurring ice cold breeze, but he paid scant attention to it. It was just the weather being odd again. What else could it be? 

The train station was loud and crowded with far too many people for Ken's caring, an unfortunately typical state of affairs for it. He sighed and suffered the noise and the idiots who constantly invaded his personal space as he walked around looking for someplace out of the way that he could wait at and still have a good view of the people disembarking. There were none. Grumbling his annoyance at it all, Ken finally decided on a vacant spot against the wall underneath a rather loud loudspeaker. He winced when an announcement practically shrieked out overhead as he settled back against the wall. Crowds were obnoxious. People had to be obnoxious in return to _get_ the crowd's attention. He understood this. That didn't mean he had to appreciate it though, which he didn't. 

Rubbing the bridge of his nose as yet another announcement screamed overhead, Ken hoped fervently that Takeru arrived before he managed to get the mother of all migraines. Closing his eyes to the hustle and bustle around him, he leaned his head back against the wall and let his mind drift away from the din. 

He lazily studied random thoughts and discarded them as his mind drifted along. He poked experimentally at the half-formed speculations he had about his feelings for Takeru but soon abandoned them. He just wasn't ready to face them just yet. He also shied away from the dark, festering shadows of past recollections. The Kaiser was not a good subject for today, or any day for that matter. Deciding that the daily worries and annoyances were a bit safer to peruse, he sorted through them and managed to stumble across the strangeness he had felt from that dream he had had the night before. 

That beach had seemed familiar somehow. But try as he might, he just couldn't quite figure out why it did. There wasn't anything about it that had stood out. It had been just an eerie dark and dull beach. In fact, the only thing he could nail any sort of real certainty on had been that virus digimon. He had never run across a perfect like her before, but at least he could say he knew what she was. But that was about it as far as his knowledge went, the rest of the beach just didn't make sense. 

What was it? The sand had been gray and featureless. The fog had been thick and just as featureless as the sand. The horizon had been dark and gray and as overcast as the rest of the sky. The water had been dark and practically black the further out it went. The waves had rolled in quietly, almost too quietly actually. What was that saying? Ah, yes. It had been like the calm before the storm, eerie and silent and full of foreboding. It had been as if the beach had been waiting for something. Waiting for what though? 

The sound of the waves had been almost calming and though he'd never admit it, quite frightening as well. Why it had been frightening, he didn't know, but it was certainly a mystery. In fact now that he thought about it, he could almost imagine he could hear them as they washed up onto the shore. 

Ken wasn't sure how long he spent thinking about the sounds of those damnable waves, but when a hand touched his shoulder gently it startled him badly. His eyes whipped open to stare in non-comprehension at a pair of clear blue eyes that were looking a bit concerned. 

"Ken?" Takeru asked hesitantly as his friend seemed to look straight through him, not really seeing him. It had taken a bit of doing once he had gotten off the train, but he had eventually found Ken. He had been pretty surprised to find his friend leaning up against the wall underneath a horribly loud loudspeaker and yet looked to be totally oblivious to it. Frowning, he worriedly asked again, "Ken? Ken, are you okay?" 

Ken shook his head as the sound of the waves receded and Takeru's question finally registered in his mind. It was foolish of him to get so caught up in his own thoughts that he wasn't even paying attention to the world around him. "Yes... yes, I'm fine," he murmured weakly at first but with growing strength of will. 

"Are you sure?" Takeru asked insistently as he squeezed Ken's shoulder reassuringly. He didn't like this at all. Something was obviously wrong, but he didn't know what to do unless Ken gave him some sort of clue. It was quite frustrating, he did not like being unable to help. 

"Yes," Ken looked away as he answered. He was lying. Something was wrong, though he wasn't sure what it _was_. He was quite certain that Takeru knew he was lying too. Just so long as Takeru didn't push though, it was fine. It had to be fine. 

"Ken," Takeru started off and sighed in half-annoyance, half-worry. He waited until Ken looked back at him before he continued, "I can't help any if you won't give me anything to work with. So please, anything will do." 

Ken hung his head slightly as he quietly muttered, "I don't know. I don't know what it is. It's confusing and I just can't seem to be able to figure it out." He waved his right hand helplessly, unsure of what else to say. 

Takeru's frown deepened as he leaned back and asked, "Is there anything you can tell me about it?" 

Ken thought about it again for a moment and then shook his head. There wasn't really any way to put this into words yet. He just didn't know enough. "No, nothing yet. I need to think about it some more." 

"All right," Takeru said as he figuratively deflated in his mind. Oh, he wasn't going to drop it, but pursuing it here would be fruitless and probably wouldn't even help by the sound of it. "Talk to me when you can, okay?" Smiling, he added, "I do want to help." 

"I know," Ken almost whispered as he smiled back. "I just need to think it through to where it makes some semblance of sense." Hooking his arm through Takeru's, he started off towards the exit. "But let's get home first before my mother sends out a search party." 

* * *

****

It was much later that night when Takeru once again went over the conversation they had had at the train station. After the requisite fawning from Ken's parents, as Ken referred to it, they had all had a rather pleasant dinner. It hadn't taken too much longer until Ken's parents had finally gone to bed with instructions that they weren't to stay up too much longer. And now that Ken was off in the bathroom preparing for bed, he finally had time to really think about it. It was just strange really. Ken genuinely seemed confused about whatever it was and that really _was_ odd. Ken was a genius after all, and quite used to coming up with a solution to whatever problem that might present itself. 

Sighing his frustration, Takeru climbed up the ladder and flopped down onto the bed as he tumbled his thoughts over in his mind. He really, really wanted to help Ken if he could, but he couldn't if Ken wouldn't tell him what the problem was. And if Ken didn't even _know_ what the problem was, then he was still back at square one. 

He so wanted to help, incredibly so. He hated when Ken would withdraw from him and everybody else. He hated how Ken just didn't seem to be able to smile much. And he really, really didn't like the fake smiles that Ken put up so often, the ones that masked everything and made it look as if everything was fine. Everything wasn't fine. Something was obviously wrong and he really needed Ken to communicate some so that he could at least _try_ to help make it better. 

Hearing the soft squeak of the doorknob, Takeru tilted his head to the side and watched as Ken walked into the bedroom. He blushed slightly when Ken shot his a knowing glance before turning around to lock the door. 

"How nice, you're already up there." Ken smirked as he turned back around and stalked towards the bed. "Well that at least gets one thing out of the way," he chuckled low in his throat and gracefully climbed up the ladder to his bed. "Now whatever shall I do with you?" he asked playfully as he drew his body up over Takeru's. 

"Oh I don't know," Takeru murmured huskily as he reached up to run his fingertips across Ken's cheek and up into his long, silken hair. "I'm sure you'll think of something." Smiling up at the hungry look glinting in Ken's amethyst eyes, Takeru pulled him down into a kiss that was anything but innocent. 

Afterwards, Takeru worriedly watched Ken as the boy dozed beside him. Oh, the sex had been quite wonderful. Ken really was _very_ good. But even though he had enjoyed it a great deal he could also tell that a part of Ken just hadn't been in it. And that revelation made him worry even more. Sighing, Takeru reached over and carefully brushed a stray lock of raven hair out of Ken's closed eyes. "I wish you would tell me what's wrong," he whispered as he resigned himself to what was obviously going to be a long night of watching over Ken. 

The soft lulling sound of waves washing up onto shore was the first thing that Ken's mind registered. This was swiftly followed by the uncomfortable sensation of grit in his hair and the realization that he was lying down somewhere, most likely on _that_ beach. This speculation was confirmed when he opened his eyes up to the unwelcome sight of a gray, overcast sky. Grimacing his distaste at being here again, Ken sat up and vaguely noted that the fog had moved out to sea and that he now had an unobstructed view of the entire beach. 

All in all, the beach was rather dull and unspectacular to the eye. The sand was gray. The sea was gray. The sky was gray. And the cliffs were gray as well, though they also looked quite forbidding in how precipitous and sheer they were. The person who gave monotony its definition _must_ have visited this beach at least once. 

Why was he dreaming about this place again? He glanced further down the beach as he muddled this question over in his mind and finally noticed the fallen angel standing at the edge of the surf a good distance away. She stood statuesque, neither moving or seeming to pay attention to much of anything as she gazed out at the ocean. It was as if she were waiting for something. Judging by the rather short conversation they had had during the previous dream, it stood to reason that she was still waiting patiently for her lord, whomever that might be. 

For a moment he hesitated in indecision as to what to do, then shook his head at his own foolishness. Yes, he was frightened of her, she was a perfect virus digimon and could easily kill him should she decide to do so. But, he was more frightened of this damnable beach than he was of her and she probably already knew he was there anyway. Shrugging to himself, Ken trotted across the sand towards her. Maybe she could help him figure out why he was here. 

"You came back," she said simply when he was within hearing range. She didn't move as she spoke, simply continued to stare out at the ocean. 

It was more of a statement than a question, but still he answered it, "So it would seem." 

She raised her arms slowly, wrapping them around her waist before she asked, "Why?" 

"I... I don't know," Ken muttered weakly as he turned his gaze out to the ocean. He hugged himself as he shivered from a chill that had nothing to do with the drab weather of this place. 

A dead silence descended between them for a time, Ken not knowing what to say and she didn't seem to be inclined to speak to him this time. Finally, Lady Devimon shrugged to herself, looking as if she had lost an argument with herself when she asked, "Are you lonely?" 

"Wwhat?" Ken stuttered in surprise as he whipped around to look back up at her. Where in the world was that coming from? 

She turned her head, gazing down at him curiously as she asked again, "Are you lonely?" 

"I don't... don't understand." Ken shook his head as his mind whirled around the seemingly innocent question. Was he lonely? And what did that have to do with anything? He had always been alone. But lonely? Did one have to be lonely to be alone? "I... guess... so..." 

"Have you done something in your past that you regret?" She turned her body to face him fully as she asked him these last questions. "Something you regret so much you might even wish yourself dead because of it?" 

He stared up at her, shocked at what she was asking of him. Grimacing at a truth he knew far too well, Ken looked away and out at the gray ocean as he answered with a simple, "Yes." 

"And there is your answer," she said as she tilted her head to the side. "You are alone. There is nothing to hold you anywhere. You wish to die, perhaps even to not exist at all. This world is answering that part of yourself. It will consume you if you keep returning." Turning back to face the sea once more, she concluded, "Find a way to live with yourself or you will keep returning to this place until you truly are dead." 

Ken took a step back, her words almost feeling like a physical blow to him. He was the one responsible for his being here? Did he truly wish to die so much? Surely he had something to stay in the real world for... His parents? No, he didn't really feel anything for them anymore. There was Takeru though. As confused as he might be about his relationship with Takeru, surely it was something to live for. It had to be, there wasn't anything else. Nothing at all. 

"Now that's not something you see here everyday," Lady Devimon announced nonchalantly, interrupting Ken's madly spiraling thoughts. Blinking dazedly, he joined her in staring out at the ocean as an enormous plume of water erupted about a mile or so out from the beach. What could that possibly be? 

* * *

****

"Wake up. Wake up! Wake up, damn you!" 

Takeru shot up in bed, his eyes flying open as he frantically looked around in the darkness for whoever it was who had yelled at him to wake up. His muddled thoughts collected themselves together after a few seconds of this and he stilled. He was at Ken's. They had gone to bed. He must have fallen asleep sometime during the night when he was watching Ken. And Ken, he reached out hesitantly instantly feeling his friend beside him, Ken was still asleep. 

Who had yelled at him then? 

Takeru shivered as an abnormally cold breeze wafted across his bare skin. It was swiftly followed by an eerie sense of urgency. Something was wrong. What was it? It must be Ken, something must be wrong with Ken. There wasn't anything else it could be. 

Leaning forward, Takeru again reached down to touch his friend. He frowned, feeling Ken shuddering slightly beneath his touch. Ken must be having a nightmare. Steeling himself, Takeru gently shook his friend and called out, "Ken? Ken! Ken, wake up. You're having a nightmare, Ken. Wake up!" 

Ken blinked and gaped in shock as the beach was replaced by unending darkness. The roaring of the water as it exploded upwards into the air faded until he couldn't hear anything at all. What had happened? Where was he now? He was alone here, so very alone. He shuddered as the fear bubbled up within. He didn't want to be alone. He didn't want to die. He wanted to be at home. He wanted to be with his family. And most of all, he wanted to be with Takeru. 

Ken gasped raggedly, a scream of horror choking in his throat as reality changed again. He was lying down somewhere. Someone was shaking him and calling his name. Who? Realization dawned after a moment and he instantly sat up, wrapping his arms around Takeru as if his life depended on it. He was home. He was with Takeru. 

Takeru blinked in surprise at the desperation of Ken's embrace. It must have been one hell of a nightmare. Smiling gently, he settled Ken more comfortably in his lap and stroked the boy's hair soothingly as he murmured, "It's all right. I'm right here." 

Ken shuddered one last time before calming down enough to be able to speak. "It was just a nightmare. It was just a nightmare. It was just a nightmare," he repeated over and over again as if doing so would make him believe it. 

"Ken," Takeru started off worriedly. Ken did not sound all right. Giving the boy a gentle squeeze on the shoulder, he continued, "Please, tell me what's wrong." 

"No no," Ken shook his head against Takeru's shoulder. If he gave voice to it, then that would make it real. Wouldn't it? He scowled at the circular logic an instant later. He wasn't stupid enough to actually believe that... was he? "It's fine." 

"Ken!" Takeru admonished sternly. "I need you to tell me _something_. Keeping it all bottled up inside won't make it go away." He softened his voice as he added, "I just want to help." 

Ken froze. Takeru's logic made far more sense than his own at the moment. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to say _something_. Sighing, he closed his eyes wearily and began, "I've been having a recurring nightmare the past few days. They're not the same, but they're set in the same place. It's some sort of beach. It's dark there and cold and gray," he trailed off in uncertainty when he felt Takeru shiver at his words. "Takeru? What is it?" 

"A gray beach with tall cliffs?" Takeru asked in growing horror. "And the sound of the waves are too quiet to be natural?" 

"Yes... how did you know?" Ken stilled as he waited for Takeru to answer. How did Takeru know about that horrible place? If Takeru knew about it then that made it real now didn't it? Had _she_ been right? Was he going to die? 

Takeru shuddered and hugged Ken tighter to him. He would never let go. He wouldn't lose Ken to that horrible place like he had almost lost Hikari. "Don't worry," he mumbled as he buried his face in Ken's raven hair, "It'll be all right. Hikari has been there before. We'll go see her tomorrow. Together we should be able to figure out a way to keep you here." I can't lose you, he added silently to himself. I can't, I won't lose you. 

Ken blinked blankly. Hikari? Hikari had been to that damnable beach before? Strange, he had never heard anything about it back when he was the Kaiser. He really didn't want to see any of the other Chosen Children, but if it would keep him away from that beach, then it was at least worth looking into. 

He didn't want to die. Wishing to die was a foolish pursuit. It was better to live. Things could always be fixed, always be forgiven, always be rectified as long as he was still alive. Once he was dead, that was it. No more chances. He wanted those chances. Didn't he? 

Sighing, Ken curled his legs up closer to Takeru for warmth. He was so very cold nowadays. Sometimes he wondered if he would forget what it would feel like to be warm if this continued. Maybe Takeru was right, maybe they could fix it and he would be warm again. It was something to hope for. And didn't he have the perfect friend as far as that was concerned? 

Smiling at the whimsical turn his thoughts had taken, the Child of Kindness hugged the Child of Hope closer to himself. He could try a little hope. No harm in that. 

* * *

::hears the groans of frustration:: I know, I know. I skipped over describing a sex scene. As strange as it might sound coming from me, I just didn't feel like writing one for once. Yeah, I know. _Shocking_!! ::weak laugh:: Sorry, maybe next time. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed Lady Devimon. She'll be back for more next chapter and you'll get to see what the hell was thrashing around out there in the water. That and Taichi too! What fun! 

Lions and tigers and bears! Oh my! Taichi and Hikari and Lady Devimon! Oh my! Will Ken's sanity survive it all? ::cackles:: Or Takeru's temper for that matter? ::heh-heh:: We'll see.


	3. Part 3: The Midnight Hour

**Kindness Won't Get You Anywhere  
Part 3 - The Midnight Hour**

* * *

Standard disclaimers apply. 

SHONEN AI WARNING: This is a shonen ai fic and contains within it romantic themes and hints of an intimate relationship between two male characters. If this disturbs you in any way PLEASE do not continue reading. And yes, I am sick and twisted, thanks for asking. 

* * *

"I don't think this is a very good idea," Ken said blandly as he reluctantly joined Takeru in the elevator. He had literally fallen asleep in Takeru's arms the night before and had thankfully had no more nightmares. But when morning had come, Takeru had still been quite adamant about going to see Yagami. He hadn't been able to really argue all that much either. He didn't want to go see _her_, then again he didn't want to see any of the other children period. But he was growing so weary of those damnable dreams that anything was worth trying at this point. 

Ken suppressed a slight shudder when Takeru's fingers brushed up against his own before gently clasping them. Any other day he wouldn't have minded the touch, would have even appreciated it most likely. Today was different though. Ever since waking up everything had felt unnaturally hot to him. Even Takeru's touch, meant to be reassuring he was certain, made his skin tingle uncomfortably and he was hard pressed to not yank his hand free. But that would hurt Takeru's feelings and he didn't feel like trying to explain something quite so inexplicable, especially when he didn't understand it himself. 

He gritted his teeth and slid his hand out of Takeru's when the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. He walked forward quickly, as if to make it look like he would rather get this over with than as if he were deliberately avoiding any sort of contact. And he would rather get this over with, but for the most part he didn't want to be touched. It hurt. His skin tingled from where Takeru had gripped it, almost feeling like needles were being driven through the fragile tissue and to the very bones themselves. And it just seemed to be getting worse. 

Takeru indicated that they were at the Yagami apartment and he stopped, abruptly turning towards the balcony and gazing out at the city. Wearily, he leaned up against the concrete railing and sighed soundlessly. He paid scant attention to Takeru, otherwise he would have known that his odd withdrawal had not gone unnoticed, and instead immersed himself in his own growing misery. 

Surely this was just an exercise in futility. Yagami wouldn't be able to help. No one would. He was the only one who could help himself. The Devimon's words had only served to confirm that. He just didn't know _how_ to help himself, or even if he wanted too. His false bravado in the face of the unknown had been just that, false. Hadn't it? Deep down he knew he deserved whatever he got. Wasn't just fading away into nothingness a fitting end to himself and what he had ended up creating? 

Takeru frowned worriedly, easily masking the hurt he felt at Ken brushing him off with the concern he was also feeling. This was perhaps the first time Ken had ever acted so standoffish since everything had started with them. He didn't know what to make of it, but he did know one thing. It scared him. Badly. 

Shaking his head helplessly, Takeru turned around and rang the doorbell to the Yagami's apartment. Sighing, he steeled himself for what was about to happen. This was not going to be pretty. But one way or another he wasn't going to let Ken vanish to that hellish beach like Hikari had done. 

Taichi was the one who finally opened the door, blinking blearily down at Takeru and not really looking at anything else. The older boy's eyes widened slightly in surprise at the unexpected visitor before his lips quirked up into a half smile. "Hey Takeru. Almost didn't recognize you, you've been such a stranger lately." 

"Taichi," Takeru said as a simple greeting before he asked, "Is Hikari home?" 

"Of course, it's... er, what time _is_ it?" Taichi asked vaguely as he looked back into the apartment. Shrugging after a moment, he looked back and grinned. "Well, doesn't matter. It's some time in the morning when I'd probably be sleeping during first period if it wasn't the weekend. Anyway," he continued as he leaned to the side and waved for Takeru to come on in, "Patamon spent the night didn't he? You here to pick him up?" 

"Not exactly," Takeru murmured sourly and didn't budge. "Are your parents home?" 

"No," Taichi trailed off in confusion, finally starting to realize that something was off with Yamato's little brother. "They went out to the grocery. Why?" He frowned suspiciously when Takeru seemed relieved at the news. What was wrong with his parents being at home? Takeru was just there to visit and pick Patamon up wasn't he? 

"Good." Takeru stated flatly as he turned around and latched onto Ken's right wrist. Scowling, he hastily dragged the listless boy into the apartment after him. 

Taichi's eyes widened in complete shock as he instantly recognized the boy that Takeru was bringing into _his_ apartment. After several seconds spent sputtering in both surprise and growing anger, Taichi pointed an accusatory finger at Ken as he heatedly asked, "What is _he_ doing here?" 

"We're here to see Hikari," Takeru answered as he dragged Ken further in the Yagami's apartment, sounding as if it was a rather obvious fact and that Taichi should have figured that out in the first place. He stopped when he reached the living room and turned around to give Taichi a rather reproachful glare. 

Taichi stood stock still for moment and blinked as he digested this little tidbit of information along with everything else that was starting to figure into things. Takeru hadn't been around a lot lately. Yamato had been reluctant to talk about his little brother. Hikari had been reluctant to talk about her best friend. And now Takeru was here to see Hikari _with_ Ken. Things were starting to add up, somewhat. Frowning darkly, he slammed the front door shut and stalked angrily towards the pair. "_We_?" 

"Yes Taichi, we. More than me," Takeru shot back snappishly. He didn't want to have to do this _again_. He just wanted to take care of Ken. Why did everybody have to argue with him about it? 

"Uhuh. And _why_ are you with him?" Taichi asked scathingly as he finally took a real good look at the former Kaiser. He was taken aback by what he saw. He had already known what Ichijouji looked like without the Kaiser's makeover. Thus, he wasn't surprised by the fact that Ichijouji looked like any other kid. He had also figured from the other kids' accounts that the Kaiser's fall from grace had probably broken the boy more than he had already been. So he wasn't surprised by the shadows under the eyes or the listless expression. But the glassy-eyed gaze, almost as if the boy wasn't really even there, was really quite disconcerting. It was somehow familiar, but he couldn't quite figure out why. 

Taichi was so caught up in trying to figure out why Ichijouji's empty gaze seemed so familiar that he missed whatever it was that Takeru had answered him with. Instead, he waved his left hand in front of the raven-haired boy's face in hope that it might get his attention. 

Ken blinked dazedly, his mind shying back from where it had been pondering the hollow sound of those unending gray waves as something odd intruded upon his senses. It took him only a single moment to figure out what it had been before he turned a cold, amethyst glare upon the one-time leader of the Chosen Children. 

Taichi grimaced and drew back away from the boy. The look was still there, though not quite as pronounced as it had been a few moments before. Still, something was obviously wrong. As much as he disliked it, something deep down was telling him to help fix this no matter how much of a sadistic little jerk he might think Ichijouji is. Sighing in defeat at himself if nothing else, Taichi waved down the hallway towards Hikari's room and ground out, "Fine. We will _all_ go see Hikari." 

Takeru stared at Taichi suspiciously. That had been far too easy. It should have taken much longer for Taichi to cool down and listen to reason, not that he would have waited but anyway. "All right," he shrugged and dragged Ken down the hallway after him. He could figure out Taichi's reaction later, Ken needed some help _now_. 

Takeru gave a brief knock on the bedroom door, pushing it open when a muffled "Come in." drifted out. Hikari looked up from where she sat at the desk and just _stared_ in abject shock at the three boys who shuffled into her room. "Takeru... Ken... Taichi..." she stuttered after a moment spent just staring at them. "What's going on?" 

"Takeru!" Patamon crowed cheerfully, halting any forthcoming explanations. He winged up from the bed and hovered happily over both Takeru _and_ Ken. This did not go unnoticed by Taichi who frowned in confusion at it. Tailmon stretched up from where she had been snoozing in the middle of the bed and padded over to perch herself on the edge of the mattress. 

Hikari resisted the urge to shiver as she looked beyond the trio and saw _that boy_ again leaning up against the doorjamb. He was glowing again too. It was very disconcerting. She looked away quickly when he caught her eyes with his own for a brief moment. Why was he here? Why was Ken here with Takeru for that matter? And why was Taichi acting so calm around Ken? Hikari frowned as she looked back at the boys and froze again when she looked directly at Ken. In the light that boy was putting off a dead, gray fog glittered around Ken. Her skin crawled in horror as she remembered the last time she had seen something of the sort. The beach. 

Takeru watched Hikari's reactions to everything, finally speaking when a look of horror crossed her features, "I think you know why we're here now. Don't you?" 

Hikari nodded jerkily before shakily climbing to her feet. She slowly walked towards Ken, her steps getting steadier the further she went. She held his gaze the entire time and what she saw made her insides go cold. The gray lurked so close to the surface in his eyes, she could almost see the darkness reflected there, almost hear it he was so close to it. She stopped in front of him, hesitantly reaching up to touch his cheek. He felt so cold to her. Too cold. "You're not really here anymore are you?" she asked helplessly. 

Ken tilted his head curiously at her question, a shadow falling across his eyes, blocking out the light. He could hear the waves now, quiet and dead and unending. "What do you mean?" he asked her in a hollow voice, going through the motions but not really caring anymore. It was too cold now. He was too cold now. 

"You're already there," Hikari whispered, feeling only the ghost that remained beneath her fingers. Between the time of one heartbeat and the next, she blinked and he was gone. Gone, as if he had never been there to begin with. She let her hand drop then through the empty air. She wouldn't have been able to do anything, it was inevitable for the ocean to take what it had claimed. But that didn't mean that what it takes can't be taken back. 

There was a wounded breath of air to her left. Takeru. He must feel horrible not being able to do anything, only able to simply stand off to the side as someone he cared about vanished before his very eyes. It hurt her to hear it, but not so much as it might have. Ken needed her, _their_ help right now. He wouldn't be able to get back on his own. 

"Well that was weird," Taichi murmured. He stared blankly at where Ichijouji had been just a second ago. It was just too strange. His throat ached, almost as if he were going to cry any minute now. Why did he feel like crying over Ichijouji of all people though? He couldn't explain it. "What just happened?" 

"The dark ocean," Hikari answered flatly as she turned her attention to Takeru. He was staring blindly at where Ken had been. He looked haggard. Sighing, she reached up and gently turned his head until he was looking at her. "Takeru, there was nothing you could have done. You can't stop someone from going there once it has them. But that doesn't mean we can't go get him. Just like you did with me." She shook him slightly to get him to focus more on what she was saying before she added, "So let's go get him back." 

Takeru blinked, then nodded resolutely in understanding. He didn't trust his voice at the moment, didn't trust himself to not break down if he did try to say something. He couldn't allow himself the luxury of giving in to the maelstrom of emotions swirling around inside of him right now. 

"Uh... question," Taichi said as Hikari walked over to the desk to retrieve her D3. He waited until she looked over at him to continue, "How are we going to do that?" 

Hikari curved an eyebrow up at the _we_ part of her brother's question. Now that was interesting. She glanced briefly at the doorway, noting that the strange boy was already walking away. They needed to hurry. "We go down to the beach and open up a portal, Taichi," she answered as she grabbed Takeru's arm and pushed her brother ahead of her towards the door. Tailmon hopped silently off of the bed and followed behind while Patamon settled himself down on his usual perch on Takeru's head. 

"And we're going to do that how?" Taichi asked curiously as he fell into step with his little sister. He didn't actually doubt that Hikari could figure out how to do what she was saying. There had been many times during their past adventures where she had pulled off some really bizarre stuff. But while he had never had the time to wonder about how she did it back then, things were a bit different now and he was a bit curious as to how she would go about doing this. 

"You'll see," Hikari answered vaguely. In truth, she didn't know how they were going to do it, but somewhere deep down she knew that between them and that boy, they'd figure out a way _to_ do it. 

* * *

****

Darkness. He was floating in ice-cold, unending darkness. He wasn't sure how long he had been here, just that sometime in the past he had been speaking to Hikari about something and then suddenly, he hadn't been there anymore. 

The air here was heavy in the blackness. Too heavy, in fact. Not air, water. He was floating in water. That certainly explained why it was so cold. He could feel his lungs starting to burn now from where his subconscious had instinctively stopped him from breathing in the icy liquid. He needed air though and _soon_. He released a fraction of breath, hoping that he would be able to feel which way the bubbles went even if he couldn't see them. He shivered as a faint touch of warmth slid across his cheeks. Ignoring the panic that was starting to set in, Ken rolled over in the water and discovered that there was light here after all. 

An enormous expanse of scintillating grayish light stretched above him. The light was weak and dull, but it was there. It must be the surface of the ocean, it had to be. Kicking up towards the surface, he fought against the need for air. He was almost there, just a little further and then he could breathe again. 

Time seemed to stretch again as he fought his way to the surface. Somehow he knew he shouldn't have been able to make it considering how long it seemed to take. He should have drowned. He should have... something... and yet, he did get to the surface. Once there, he gasped in a breath of prickly cold air as he floated on the gray surf. 

Something wasn't right. 

Well, asides from the obvious. Shivering as the cold finally settled completely into his bones, Ken looked out across the water. The ocean stretched out as far as the eye could see, gray and dull in the unchanging light of the overcast sky. Scowling, he squinted and slowly turned around in the water, searching for the shore. He couldn't see it. He was too far out. No, a sliver of yet another color of gray lay off on the horizon. It was so far away though, too far to swim. 

_Darkness dwells here._

Ken jerked around, the water spraying lightly against his face as a rogue wind whipped up the waves surrounding him. Who had said that? It had sounded almost like... 

_I belong to Darkness now._

... himself. Impossible. Ken blinked as another image superimposed itself over the waves in his mind. It was an image of a younger version of himself standing upon that gray beach. Everything was gray, always gray, except when Darkness came. The younger Ken bent down and placed his digivice in the water as the ocean had turned black as pitch. Once submerged it had changed into the black D3 he carried to this day. It had been... a present... 

Ken screamed then, covering his face with wet hands as another image came upon the tail end of the last. A vision that shimmered and glittered with something other than light. Something terrifying. A dead-black tower that rose above a small island, spearing so far up into the sky that the top couldn't be seen. Something was sleeping there. Something he knew very well. Something that knew _him_ very well. Something that made his mind ache terribly from the knowledge of it. 

_... Darkness ..._

He didn't know that something had wrapped around his right ankle until he was yanked beneath the waves. The shock combined with the fact that he had ended up swallowing a good bit of water going down instantly pushed the visions of before to the very back of his mind. He gripped his throat against the incredible burning sensation searing along it and down into his lungs as he looked down at what had grabbed him. 

A digimon. A Marine Devimon to be exact. And that was as far as he got on his assessment of the situation before a swarm of what looked to be black and gold bats swirled around him and down at his captor. The pressure on his ankle let up immediately and he felt something grab onto the back collar of his jacket before he was hauled up out of the water completely. 

"You _do_ have a way of getting into trouble don't you?" Lady Devimon asked conversationally as Ken dangled from her grasp. She frowned when his only answer at the moment was a hacking cough. Shrugging, she headed back to shore with her rather unusual catch. 

* * *

****

Takeru fidgeted as he watched Hikari fiddling with her D3. They were at the local beach now, Hikari with her back to the bay and so close to the water that her heels got wet with every wave that washed up onto shore. He and Taichi were both standing a bit further up on dry sand, watching her and waiting. He didn't know _what_ she was doing and he was pretty sure that Taichi didn't know either, but he hoped that whatever she was doing would work. His mind refused to think of anything else, shying away from both the unpleasant possibilities that could happen and what he felt about what had happened earlier. 

He couldn't do that right now. He couldn't think about any of that right now. After he, _they_ had gotten Ken back, then he would think about it. But right now, he would just wait for Hikari to open up the way to the dark ocean so that he could go get Ken. He didn't doubt that she would succeed, failure was not an option. 

Hikari sighed soundlessly as the boy pointed out another string of numbers for her to input into her D3. He was getting impatient with her. He didn't speak to her, most likely couldn't, but somehow he was making his thoughts known to her. This helped somewhat in him guiding her through programming her D3 so that it would open up a portal to the dark world, but for some of what he was trying to show her she just had to guess. Unfortunately, this ended up making it take longer than either of them thought it would. She was getting impatient with herself. He was getting impatient with both of them. And the minutes ticking by in the growing silence made her want to scream in frustration at the entire situation. 

She blinked in annoyance when he passed his hand through her D3 to get her attention. Scowling at the interruption, she looked up at him questioningly. He shook his head and smiled before pointing back down at her D3. Looking back down at it, she blinked again as she finally noticed that _something_ was running on the monitor. The program was finished? Was it going to work? He nodded at her in assurance when she looked back up at him again. He waved his hand at her D3, indicating that she should execute the program now and then vanished. 

Shaking her head in bemusement at this, Hikari looked up at Takeru and her brother and said, "Okay, I think we're ready to try this now." They both perked up at the news, the bleak look on Takeru's face retreating back into his eyes. This was going to work. This _had_ to work. She didn't want him looking like that ever again. 

"So how are we going to do this?" Taichi asked, confident now that something was going to happen and hoping that he could finally be useful for whatever it was they were going to do to get Ichijouji back. He had been thinking about certain things while Hikari had been busy doing whatever she had been doing. But those thoughts were better left to later, now was the time for action. 

"Well," Hikari trailed off in uncertainty. She didn't know what to make of her brother's willingness to help Ken of all people. But, oh well. Shrugging at her thoughts, she continued, "I'm going to open up a portal with my D3. It'll hurt when I do it. The program has to draw on a lot of power and the D3 can't actually handle it. Unfortunately, there's no other way to do it as the dark world can't be accessed through a computer. Anyway, Takeru's going to go through the portal, get Ken as fast as he can and get back as fast as he can." She smiled weakly up at Takeru as she waved Taichi to come over and stand beside her. "Taichi is going to stay here with me and make sure I don't pass out before you get back. So hurry. Okay?" 

Takeru nodded his understanding of what she wasn't saying. It was strange hearing her talk almost like Koushirou. He wasn't quite sure what to make of that. But it was just one more thing to think about later. Now, he had something far more important to think about. Nodding at her again to show that he was ready to go, he waited for her to open up the portal. 

Hikari smiled briefly up at Taichi as he gently grasped her left elbow to show that he was ready to give her whatever support she might need. She was going to need it, of that she had no doubt. Holding her breath, she hesitantly held her D3 out before her and activated the program. 

* * *

****

Ken lay prone on the gray sand coughing up what seemed like an endless amount of water. He had collapsed the instant Lady Devimon had set him down on the beach and hadn't really spared one thought to her as his body had protested the presence of water within it where there shouldn't be any. 

Shouldn't he have drowned with this much water down in his lungs? He thought bleakly before freezing at the hesitant touch of a hand on his back. The hand gently started to rub his back in a comforting manner. He looked up curiously to find Lady Devimon kneeling down beside him on the sand and gazing down at him with an odd expression. 

She tilted her head to the side at the questioning look in his eyes. "Isn't this what humans do when another isn't feeling well?" she asked, almost as if what she was doing was something of a novelty. "Or is that something else?" 

"No. No, that's fine," Ken answered after a moment spent staring up at her in bewilderment at her odd behavior. This was different. He had never seen a virus act on their strange observations about humans before. Then again, he'd never really been in a situation where a virus hadn't outright tried to kill him before. Shaking his head at the strangeness of it all, Ken wearily climbed to his feet. 

"Are all humans as fragile as you are?" She asked curiously as she rose fluidly to stand beside him. 

Ken cracked a half-smile, attempting to brush sand out of his hair as he answered her again, "Some more so than others." 

"Really? It's a wonder your species survives at all then," Lady Devimon said matter-of-factly. She frowned lightly and reached up to help him get the sand out of his hair. She wasn't quite sure why she was doing this, why she had helped the little human in the first place. She assumed that it was just simply because she was incredibly bored and refused to delve any further into the matter. 

Ken chuckled at her words. "I'm quite sure that many people have wondered about that throughout the ages." He stopped brushing the sand out, allowing her to continue on with it in his stead as he remembered those mysterious visions, memories, he had had just minutes ago. Staring out at the rolling gray waves, he whispered, "I've been here before." 

"Well of course you've been here before. How else would we have met?" She asked him sarcastically as she ran her hands through his wet, raven-black hair, sliding the grains of sand out with each pass of her fingers. 

"No," Ken shook his head slightly as he explained, "I mean before that. I was here before _we_ met. I think, I was younger then." He frowned as the images flashed through his mind again. They didn't make sense, there were too many hole in his memories. But there had been something else happening then... something he shouldn't have any trouble remembering. And yet, he had to struggle against his own mind to try and find out what that was. 

Lady Devimon's hands stopped in their task and instead dropped down to rest upon his shoulders as she asked, "What were you doing then that would make you come here?" 

"I think," Ken trailed off, looking down as he strained to remember what _had_ happened. He raised his arms, staring numbly at his wrists. There had been pain, a great deal of pain. There had also been blood, rivulets of blood that had streamed down his forearms and onto the sand below. "I think I tried to kill myself," he mumbled finally as he drew the sleeves of his shirt down to view unblemished skin. Why weren't there any scars? 

She snorted and shook him briefly before growling out her next question, "Why would you do something that stupid?" 

Ken shook his head at that and sighed, "I don't know." He didn't know. The memory of _why_ he would do something like that eluded him. No matter how much he tried to remember it, it just kept slipping out of his grasp. What could have been so terrible to make him want to kill himself back then? The memory just wasn't there. 

"Hmmph, humans are so strange," she said at last, releasing her hold on him. She stepped forward, standing beside him and glancing out at the ocean for a moment before turning her gaze skyward. "And speaking of which, it looks as if another human came searching for you." 

"What?" Ken looked up blankly as she pointed up at a golden speck in the gray, overcast sky. He focused his gaze upon the speck as it soon resolved itself into the form of Pegasumon, and perched up on Pegasumon's back was Takeru. Ken couldn't help but smile at the relief that welled up within him at the sight. If Takeru was here, then there had to be a way home. Once he was home he could get dry and warm again and maybe things would make more sense. At least, he hoped they would. 

A few seconds later, Pegasumon landed a couple of feet away. Takeru hastily slid off his partner's back and walked towards Ken, eyeing the Devimon warily. What was a virus of her level doing here with Ken? She hadn't done anything to Ken had she? He looked Ken up and down appraising, relieved that he was still in one piece but confused by the drenched state the boy was in. "What happened? Are you okay?" 

Ken smiled weakly and answered, "I _appeared_ out in the water. She was kind enough to fish me out." He waved towards Lady Devimon in conclusion. She smirked and waggled her fingers at the blonde human and his cute little digimon. 

"Uh... okay," Takeru mumbled and blinked in abject confusion. A virus? Being helpful? Now that was just too weird for words. Shaking his head to clear it, he set his mind back on track to the more immediate problems. "We need to get going. Hikari won't be able to hold the portal open for much longer." 

"Oh, I see," Ken said as he nodded his understanding. Why did he suddenly feel so reluctant to go now? He would have to leave her alone again. That _bothered_ him for some reason. Turning towards her, he smiled shyly and tried to put some of his feelings into words, "Thank you." 

Tilting her head to the side, she shrugged lightly and explained, "I was just doing it because I was bored." 

"Still, thank you all the same. I would have been lost if you hadn't found me in the beginning," his smile widened as he tried to put as much sincerity as he could manage into his words. He did mean them, a great deal. Giving her one last look, he turned and let Takeru draw him away to Pegasumon. Why did he feel like crying _now_? He was going home after all. 

Lady Devimon silently watched them mount the little golden digimon. She watched the little winged horse rise into the gray sky with its burden. Sighing as they grew smaller and smaller in the sky, she reached up and drew the black leather hood back off of her face. She closed her glittering red eyes as a cool wind brushed up against her cheeks. She wasn't happy. She hadn't been for a long time now. 

"Are you lonely?" she asked at last. Perhaps the question was directed at the dull, gray surf. Perhaps it was directed at the cold, dead wind. And perhaps it was directed at herself. She wasn't sure completely who she was asking, she just knew the answer had somehow become very important to her in the span of a few minutes. 

Opening her eyes, she shook her head and chuckled at her own foolishness, "An interesting question, isn't it?" Shrugging in bemusement, she rose above the sand and followed after the little golden speck speeding along further up the beach. She wanted to know the answer. 

* * *

****

Hikari bit her bottom lip to keep from crying out at the constant pain sizzling up her nerves. Her D3 glowed steadily in her hands, keeping the portal shimmering a few feet before her open. Taichi was practically having to hold her up by her waist now. She just didn't have the energy left to support her own weight. Everything she had was going into keeping the pain at bay. 

"Just a little longer, sis," Taichi murmured as he shifted, lifting Hikari up a little further in his grasp as he leaned back to settle the weight more easily. 

"I know," she croaked out and tilted her head back against his chest, looking up at him as she smiled. "I'll be all right. I just wish they were back already," she frowned worriedly as she finished, a shadow falling across her eyes. 

"Ken-" Taichi squinted his eyes as he hesitated. He looked up at the portal in thought before looking back down at Hikari to continue with what he wanted to ask, "Ken's the reason Takeru hasn't been around lately. Isn't he?" 

Hikari looked down at the sand, her answer uneasy on her lips as she replied with a simple, "Yes." 

Taichi grunted gently to acknowledge her answer. Silence stretched between them as Taichi mulled something over in his mind and Hikari worried about what her brother might be thinking about Takeru and Ken and the type of relationship the two boys might have. Sighing unhappily at something, Taichi asked carefully, "We all make stupid mistakes don't we?" 

Hikari looked back up at her brother in surprise. She wasn't quite sure what he meant by asking her something like that, but he didn't _sound_ angry about anything. "Yes. Yes, we do," she murmured and smiled weakly up at him. 

* * *

****

"You came through _that_?" Ken asked in disbelief as he pointed at the shimmering pinkish-gray oval of energy pulsing about a foot above the beach. It was just barely beyond the edge of the surf as the gray waves rolled up onto shore. It didn't look all that stable to him. 

"Yes," Takeru answered absentmindedly as he watched Pegasumon devolve back into Patamon. Snatching Patamon up into his arms, he hugged his partner comfortingly and gestured for Ken to go on through the flickering energy portal. 

"Are you sure?" Ken queried and crossed his arms, unconvinced. "It doesn't look all that safe to me." 

"It's fine Ken," Takeru scowled in annoyance at Ken's obvious reluctance. "Hikari's holding it open on the other side. So just go already." Why was Ken being so difficult about this? Didn't he want to go home? 

"I don't-" An ear-splitting roar cut off anything else Ken might have said about the matter. Whirling around, his eyes widened in shock as the Marine Devimon from before towered up out of the brackish surf. It must have followed them back to shore. 

Takeru took one look at the rather obvious threat looming over them and whipped around, yelling "Go!" before roughly shoving Ken ahead of him and through the portal. He swiftly followed a half-second later on his friend's heels. 

The Marine Devimon growled down at the little pulsating portal that had allowed his prey to escape. Reaching down with his tentacles, he attempted to stretch the portal open wide enough so that he could get through. He chuckled as he felt himself being dragged through by the energy in the portal. It seemed it didn't matter whether the object was in all appearances too big for the entrance, it would transfer anything that touched it anyway. 

Lady Devimon dropped down to the sand in front of the now crackling pinkish-gray portal. She had watched the humans flee the other virus and she had watched the fool follow after them. She wanted to follow too, but for another reason altogether. She was tired of being alone and that boy _had_ been kind to her. Why, she wasn't sure, but she did want to know. It was something worth pursuing. Giving the dark ocean one last glance, she turned her back on it and hopped through the portal to another world. 

"Goodbye, Lord Piemon." 

* * *

****

The portal flashed, the only warning Hikari or Taichi got before Ken and then Takeru tumbled out of it. They crashed into the sand, looking back after a moment spent gathering their wits. Their eyes held something almost akin to fear as the portal began to crackle with more and more energy. Takeru urged Ken further up the beach, not liking what he was seeing one little bit. Why wasn't Hikari shutting it down already? 

Hikari screamed as the power in her D3 spiked, sending pure agony up her arms. Her fingers convulsively gripped the device. She couldn't drop it. Something huge materialized out of the portal as Taichi reached forward, intent on knocking the damned D3 out of her hands. Something much smaller darted up and out of the portal before he succeeded. Hikari collapsed against her brother in relief as the pain finally stopped. 

Humans and digimon alike stared up in horror as the Marine Devimon roared down at them. Takeru blinked numbly up at the virus as Patamon wiggled out of his arms. Once free, the batpig instantly evolved into Angemon in response to the threat to his partner. 

Taichi unceremoniously hauled his sister up and over his shoulder, grabbing her sparking D3 up off of the sand before beating a hasty retreat. He winced as the sparks burned his skin but held onto the little device despite the pain. Judging that they were far enough away from the immediate threat, he stopped finally and set Hikari back down on her feet. She instantly collapsed down to her knees. "I think it's shorted out," he offered as he kneeled down and handed the device over to his sister. 

Hikari stared down hopelessly at it. "I think you're right. I'm sorry," she added looking down apologetically at a rather antsy Tailmon. 

"What are we going to do? Angemon needs help now," Tailmon glanced back worriedly at the battle. She didn't like not being able to help her friend, but she was useless in this form without her tail ring. And if she couldn't evolve... 

"I don't know," Hikari murmured wearily as she looked back up towards the battle. Angemon was a powerful adult, but it was an equal match with a Devimon virus. And by the looks of it, this one was most likely a perfect. 

Angemon was having a good bit of trouble. The Devimon had too many tentacles to attack with. He'd defend against two of them and get slapped by another pair an instant later. He couldn't get free long enough to fire off a Heaven's Knuckle. He didn't know what to do. 

"Darkness Wave!" 

The yell rose above the roar of the ongoing battle. Both opponents had only a fraction of a second to process what the sound meant before a swarm of black and gold bats converged upon them. Strangely enough, the energy bats didn't attack Angemon, instead they focused their ire upon the virus. 

All present looked up at the source of both the bats and the yell. Lady Devimon smiled and waved cheerfully down at the other perfect as she let her bats fade away into nothingness. "Play nice," she called out before dropping down to face him. "Or not at all," she added as if in afterthought, following it up with a powerful kick to the fool's face. The force of the blow threw the other virus out into the water. 

"Ooh," she cooed as he roared at her. "Did I hurt your pretty face?" Glancing back, she winked knowingly at Angemon before looking back at the idiot digimon thrashing out in the water. "Well don't worry honey. We'll make it all better." 

Smirking, she twirled around, releasing another volley of bats at the Marine Devimon. "Heaven's Knuckle!" was yelled somewhere behind her, instantly followed by a incandescent beam of energy that converged along with her bats on the hapless virus. The explosion they created upon meeting was quite blinding, and certainly more than enough to get rid of the nuisance. 

Resisting the urge to giggle at the sight of the now empty water, Lady Devimon turned around and lazily floated down towards the little human that interested her a great deal. That had been fun. She couldn't quite remember the last time she had had some fun. It had to have been before the dark ocean. That place had been more boring than hell. 

Takeru blinked numbly, not sure what to make of what had happened. He automatically caught Patamon when his partner devolved out of the Angemon form and dropped down into his arms. He edged slightly in front of Ken as Lady Devimon landed in front of them. What did she want with them? 

"Hello again," she said cheerfully, noting the protective gesture the other human was making. Now that was interesting. She glanced over at the other humans as they made their way over towards the others. Oh, the cute little Tailmon was here. This should prove entertaining. Before she could continue though, a rain of salt water fell out of the sky drenching them all. "Oh dear," she murmured distastefully. Perhaps she shouldn't have been quite so exuberant in her attack. This type of aftershock from an explosion wasn't exactly pleasant. 

"Oh yuck," Hikari complained as Taichi half-carried her over towards Takeru and Ken. She looked curiously over at Lady Devimon as Tailmon stalked warily between her and the virus. 

"Why?" Ken asked finally, shaking his head at his confused feelings. He didn't know _why_ he was happy she was here, but he did know he was. But why had she followed them? Why had she helped them? What was going on? He didn't understand anything anymore. 

"I followed you obviously," she answered, smiling winningly down at Tailmon which elicited an almost imperceptible growl from the little adult. How amusing. 

"Why?" Ken asked again. Her answer only succeeded in making him even more confused. Why would she follow him _here_? 

"Because I felt like it?" she asked vaguely in return. Shrugging, she continued as if trying to explain something she didn't understand herself, "A thank you every now and then is a bit refreshing. Though, always unexpected." 

"Oh," Ken blushed slightly. She had followed him because he had been kind to her, or at least, that's what she seemed to be saying. He didn't know how to respond to that. 

"Well then, let's go shall we? Don't you need to get dry? You humans do get sick rather easily you know." She pointed up the beach and towards the city. The others just stared at her, not really comprehending what was going on. Sighing, she put her hands on her hips and asked sarcastically, "I'm here because you're here. Where else am I going to go but with you?" 

The others continued to stare at her until finally Taichi spoke up, "Uhm, you do... sorta... kinda, stand out." 

Chuckling deep in her throat, she waved down at her leather-clad body and asked sweetly, "You don't like this form?" 

Even Hikari turned an interesting shade of red at Lady Devimon's oh so innocent question. Gathering his wits first, Ken tugged on the collar of his shirt and coughed, "You do sort of stand out." 

"Fine fine," she murmured, tilting her head to the side and resting her chin in the palm of her hand as she thought on this new little problem. Shrugging at last, she began to glow with a grayish light. "Well, I guess there's no helping it." The glow expanded, engulfing her completely before it began to shrink. After a moment, it winked out altogether, leaving behind a ball of tan fur and black feathers. 

Stretching her black, feathered wings out behind her, the little ferret-looking digimon shook her fur out experimentally. "I haven't worn this form in _ages_," she piped out as she flapped up off of the sand. "You should feel honored to even see it." 

Ken blinked in surprise at this turn of events. How utterly strange. Stretching his arms out when she indicated where she wanted to go, he smiled weakly as she settled down into his embrace. "Uhm..." 

"Call me Koimon when I'm in this form," she said absently as she folded her wings up and snuggled down to get comfortable. Finally content with her position, she looked up and announced, "So let's go home." 

* * *

Haha, isn't she adorable? And yes, I know that's not an actual digimon. I wanted to make up something special for an obviously special digimon. Hope you liked it. I have an epilogue planned for this fic. All those 'laters' that got mentioned in this part are actually going to happen, though there won't be many forthcoming answers. I still have two more major stories planned out for this plotline. It's going to be awhile yet before everything gets answered and settled down.


	4. Epilogue: Later

**Kindness Won't Get You Anywhere  
Epilogue - Later**

* * *

Standard disclaimers apply. 

SHONEN AI WARNING: This is a shonen ai fic and contains within it romantic themes and hints of an intimate relationship between two male characters. If this disturbs you in any way PLEASE do not continue reading. And yes, I am sick and twisted, thanks for asking. 

* * *

"Stop hovering, Taichi!" 

Takeru looked up from where he sat at the dining table and smiled at the scene playing out over on the couch. Hikari had collapsed onto it after stumbling out of the bathroom. They had _all_ returned to the Yagami apartment to clean up to the point where they looked somewhat respectable. Hikari had been the first one ushered into the bathroom when it appeared she was strong enough to walk on her own again. 

Taichi had waved Takeru in next when Hikari was through. The older boy was far more intent upon making sure his sister was okay than to pay attention to his own comfort. Takeru had been a little hesitant to leave Ken alone with them for any length of time, but figured that Taichi wouldn't really care about anything else but hovering over Hikari. Still, Taichi had had the sense of mind to get out some of his clothes for both of the younger boys to dress in while their clothes were being washed. 

It was all a bit bewildering. 

Now, Ken was the one in the bathroom and Takeru was left alone at the table with his thoughts. Though admittedly, he was using Taichi and Hikari to avoid thinking about pretty much everything at the moment. Hikari had finally gotten fed up with her brother's mildly smothering concern. 

"I just have a headache, Taichi. That's all," Hikari grumbled as she shifted on the couch, throwing her right arm across her eyes to keep out the light. "It will go away a lot faster if you will just leave me alone." 

"Fine fine. I'm just trying to help," Taichi muttered, scowling as he turned to walk away. Stopping in mid-stride, he looked back and asked one more time, "Are you sure you don't need anything?" 

Hikari growled in supreme annoyance as she imperiously pointed her brother away from the couch and away from her, "Go. Away. Now!" 

Taichi shrugged in defeat and shuffled over towards the dining table. He gave Takeru a weak smile as he yanked a chair out and plopped down in it. "So how're you doing, Takeru?" he asked cautiously after a few moments of watching the blonde stare down at the tabletop. 

"I'm fine," Takeru answered flatly, still staring blankly down at the table. He knew Taichi was going to have questions, difficult questions. What he didn't know was how he would be able to answer them without saying too much. Because if he said too much and Taichi found out the truth of his relationship with Ken... well, he doubted the others would approve. They'd probably do anything they could to keep them both apart. He didn't want to have to fight about it. He just wanted to be with Ken. 

"Uhuh." Taichi leaned back, lacing his fingers together. Curious, he cocked his head to the side and watched Takeru with hooded eyes. Never in the time that he had known the boy had Takeru been quite so withdrawn, quite so hesitant. Takeru had always been open about things, or at least had seemed that way. Back during their first time in the digital world, whether the boy had been peevish or upset about something, he had never seemed to hide himself like he was doing now. 

Then again, now that Taichi thought about it, maybe he was finally seeing something that had always been there. That was a disturbing thought. It had never crossed his mind that Takeru wasn't as happy as he always seemed to be. Had they all been missing something? Shaking his head, Taichi carefully asked, "So Ken's the reason you haven't been around much. Isn't he?" 

Takeru let his head drop at that innocent seeming question. Oh, it wasn't quite as bad as he had feared it would be, but it would swiftly lead to others, no doubt. He would have been better off trying to figure out his feelings on the day's events than having this little conversation. Sighing soundlessly, he closed his eyes and answered, "Something like that." 

"Oh," Taichi said simply as he watched Takeru's reactions. Takeru just really didn't look like he wanted to talk about this. And Taichi wasn't sure whether pushing the matter might do more harm than good. If something was wrong, Takeru or Hikari or _somebody_ would say something. Wouldn't they? This was so confusing. Shrugging to himself, Taichi finally decided to just let it lie for awhile. He could always keep a closer eye on Takeru, just in case after all. That way he wouldn't have to force Takeru into talking about something he obviously felt uncomfortable about. 

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to Takeru," Taichi murmured softly as he stood up, placing a reassuring hand on Takeru's shoulder. He smiled gently when the blonde looked up at him with wide, surprised eyes. "But you don't have to hide from us either. Okay?" 

Takeru nodded numbly. He hadn't expected that. Who would have? Taichi hadn't ever been considered the most understanding of people. It just didn't gel with his personality. So this was a bit of a shock all things considered. Takeru was extremely relieved though. He hadn't wanted to lie about it or to veil things in half-truths. The extent of his relationship with Ken was just something the others really didn't need to know right now, if ever. 

Content that that had been settled, sort of, Taichi reached up and scratched the back of his head. "I'm gonna go see if Ken's out of the shower yet. The hair is starting to itch like mad," he explained before turning around and heading down the hallway. 

* * *

****

Ken stared blankly at a strand of hair hanging down across his face. It was ink-black in color, still wet from just getting out of the shower. The light glimmered against the water droplets clinging to his hair. There was something... something... something about the color, the play of light was familiar somehow. He couldn't place it though. It was only another memory that just wasn't there anymore. 

Scowling in annoyance, Ken brushed the hair back and twined it behind his ear. He buttoned up the oversized, light blue pajama top Taichi had let him borrow, he already had the pants on, and silently berated himself for the fallacy of his own memories. He had been a fool to ever consider himself to be perfect. He had less of a handle on his life than most people on the planet. That wasn't exactly the symptoms of a perfect person, now was it? 

Upon finishing his task, he quietly opened the bathroom door and padded out into the hallway. He glanced towards the living room and grimaced, Taichi looked to be having a 'talk' with Takeru. Not good. Oh, he was half tempted to go join in on the _fun_, but him joining in would probably cause more harm than good. Sighing, he walked into the bedroom across the hallway instead and settled down on the bed. Someone would come looking for him after the 'talk', surely. 

Ken sat there in the silence for several seconds trying not to think. He wasn't successful. Inevitably, his gaze was drawn down to his wrists as if his pupils were metal filings to a magnet. He slowly drew the sleeves back and again viewed unblemished skin. 

What _had_ happened to him? 

Why was he remembering something while he couldn't remember why he would have done it? And why didn't he have any physical reminders of something like _that_? Had it really happened? Or was his mind coming up with it to try and rationalize everything he had done? 

Ken ran his thumb down the center of his forearm, where there should have been a very evident scar. He studied the images of that memory in his mind, turning it over and over again as if doing so would discern something he had yet to figure out. There was something about them, something that felt too real for him to brush them off as illusions. But that didn't explain why they were there, why they had happened. What _had_ happened? He just didn't know. 

The sound of someone clearing their throat drew his attention away, interrupting the flow of unending questions that were popping up in his mind. Ken dropped his arms down onto his knees, letting the sleeves fall back down, at the sight of Taichi leaning up against the doorjamb. He waited patiently, allowing the older boy to make the first move. 

Taichi reached up and scratched uncomfortably at his hair again as he stared over at Ken. Ken, not Ichijouji, strange how in the space of an hour he could change his mind about something. Part of his mind was screaming at him not to be such an idiot, about how Ken can't be trusted _ever_. Another part was remembering a lonely boat ride through gray, misty waters. It was remembering all of the mistakes he could have made, all the mistakes he _did_ make. It wouldn't have taken all that much for things to have gone badly back then. 

Pushing off from the doorway, Taichi strolled forward into the bedroom. He pointed briefly at the pajamas Ken was wearing before asking, "So, they worked out okay?" 

"Ah yes, they're fine." Ken blinked and looked down at himself. A moment passed before he looked back up and said, "Thank you, Yagami." 

"That's good," Taichi murmured as he tilted his head to the side. Well this was certainly a loaded situation. With his insides knotted up so much, it almost felt like those first couple of confrontations he had had with Yamato way back when. Almost. "You can just call me Taichi, by the way." 

Ken's eyes widened in shock. This was not happening. This was all wrong. He was the evil dictator. The boy who had kicked puppies for fun. He was the evil to be shunned after being defeated. He wasn't somebody the former leader told to call him by his given name. Finding his voice after the shock had set in, but nearly choking on the question, Ken asked, "Why?" 

Taichi shrugged self-consciously. Now there was an interesting question he was even asking himself. He didn't really have an answer. It just seemed like the right thing to do. Placing his right hand gently ontop of Ken's head, Taichi repeated the words he had spoken to Hikari in hopes that that would be enough of an explanation, "We all make mistakes." 

Ken just blinked and stared up at the older boy. There really wasn't anything he could say to that. It was the truth, no matter which way he looked at it. It was hard to accept though. His guilt was well deserved. Of that, at least, he had always been certain. 

* * *

****

Takeru quietly tapped his fingers against the tabletop, his mind skirting around the issues at hand as he listened to hushed voices coming from behind him in the kitchen. Patamon, Tailmon and Koimon were discussing the merits of human cuisine. He would have laughed at it if there weren't other things floating around in his mind. 

If Hikari hadn't figured out how to open up that portal to the dark ocean, he would have lost Ken... probably forever. Just thinking about it _now_ made him ache terribly inside and it made it so hard to breathe. His feelings were so heavy. 

He'd been so useless. If Hikari hadn't been there he would have fallen apart. He wouldn't have been able to think of anything to help. She had even done most of the work: programming her D3, opening up the portal and keeping it open, even to the point where she had been hurting herself to do so. 

He was so useless. 

Sighing helplessly, Takeru buried his face in his hands. He was going to start crying if he kept this up. That wouldn't be good. Letting this reduce him to tears would be silly. He could handle this. It hadn't been the end of the world, even if it had seemed that way for awhile there. 

Feeling that he had himself under control again, Takeru crossed his arms and frowned as he studied his feelings further. It had physically hurt him when he had thought Ken was gone for good. In fact, the only time his feelings had ever come close to that had been after the Devimon battle on File Island. In those few moments when he had thought Angemon had died permanently had literally shattered his world. And while he had gotten Patamon back, it had still been a pretty terrible experience. He had never felt anything like that since until today. He hadn't even felt like that with all the times he and Yamato had parted in the digital world. 

It felt like... It felt like... What _did_ it feel like? 

Sensing that he had almost figured out the answer, Takeru rose from the table and walked down the hallway in search of the subject of his feelings. He found Ken sitting alone in the bedroom across from the bathroom. Strangely enough, the raven-haired boy was staring down blankly at his wrists. 

Ken looked up at the sound of shuffling footsteps entering the bedroom and smiled weakly at Takeru. He dropped his arms again as he had before speaking to Taichi, allowing the sleeves to slip back down over his forearms. 

"Taichi in the shower?" Takeru asked before sitting down on the bed beside Ken. He tilted his head to the side in curiosity as Ken nervously twined his fingers together in his lap. Taichi hadn't said anything stupid on the way to the bathroom, had he? 

"Yes," Ken answered simply. He wasn't sure what he wanted to tell Takeru yet. Then again, it wasn't like he could make any sense of anything yet. It was just all so confusing. 

"He... didn't say anything stupid did he?" Takeru asked cautiously. He knew there were countless feelings of guilt lurking beneath the surface of his friend... Friend? Friend didn't seem to be the correct word for their relationship anymore. But he wasn't sure what _was_ just yet. At any rate, no matter what guilt Ken might be feeling, he'd give Taichi hell if the older boy had said anything upsetting. 

"No no no," Ken replied instantly. He didn't want Takeru getting protective for some perceived slight. Turning his head finally so that he could look directly over at Takeru, he tried to explain, "Well, he said something that's a bit baffling. I really need to think about it for awhile yet. It wasn't anything bad though." 

"Oh. Okay then," Takeru said absently as he reached up to run his fingers through Ken's hair, still wet from the shower. He smiled gently when Ken unconsciously leaned back into the caress, accepting what comfort he could from the gesture. 

Now that Takeru was with Ken, he allowed himself to think further upon his feelings. He wanted to protect Ken, but now he knew he wouldn't always be able to do that. He wasn't an all powerful paladin or even the gallant white knight. And he now realized that it was all right that he wasn't perfect. He wouldn't always know what to do. He wouldn't always be able to save the day _every_ day. But as long as he could be with Ken like this, then everything would be fine. 

He liked... no, _loved_ this. Takeru's smile widened in pure delight as he finally figured out what he had probably been feeling for awhile now. "I love you," he whispered. 

"What?" Ken whipped his head around, more shocked than he had been with Taichi's behavior. Takeru did not just say what he thought he did. Did he? Surely not. 

"I love you," Takeru repeated with an indulgent smirk. He hastily put silencing fingers over Ken's lips when the other boy shook his head and seemed about ready to go into denial. "Don't," he admonished softly. "It has nothing to do with whether you deserve it or not. I just do." 

Shaking his own head when Ken's eyebrows drew together in confusion, Takeru wrapped his arms around the reluctant boy. Leaning back slightly, he tucked Ken's head under his chin. "Do you remember what I told you before?" Ken shook his head, indicating that he had no idea what Takeru was talking about, and the blonde continued, "I told you that you didn't have to say anything or do anything. Well, you don't. It's okay. I _do_ love you though. A great deal. That's all." 

Ken closed his eyes, not trusting himself to speak, to not say something utterly wrong. That's all, indeed. He was trapped now. He could break it off, but he didn't want to, couldn't even really accept the possibility. He needed to be with Takeru too much now for that. He wanted it, _craved_ it. Was it really a trap when he walked into it willingly, wanting everything the other had to offer and more? Truly, he was fool and Takeru was the gilded cage he refused to let go of. 

Damn him to every conceivable hell ever created in the fearful imaginations of the human species. He liked this. _Maybe_ he even loved it too. 

* * *

Aw, aren't they cute? And yes, Kindness is finished. Ken has such a bleak outlook on life doesn't he? Poor boy, it's just gonna get worse before it gets better. ::ahem:: This entire mess has been for the benefit of having Takeru speak those three little words. ::hee-hee:: And I really left some things hanging didn't I? ::cackles:: I told you I would. And yes, the title is contradictory on purpose. It's what Ken has believed this whole time and he gets proved dead wrong. I've got at least two more epics planned for this particular universe and probably a few one-shots. I'm gonna be so busy. Darkness (and no, that's not its full title either) will be next in this series, though I do have a vampire AU to get out first. I have to get that particular plot bunny out before it drives me up the freaking wall. Anyway, hope you liked. Let me know what you think... unless, of course, you don't want to. Your choice. I don't whine. No no, not me, never... well maybe, but just to friends who have to put up with me anyway.


End file.
